All I'll Ever Be
by QG
Summary: Two Kuja centric drabbles. Kuja's thoughts after Garland revealed information about who he is and his purpose. Rated for general angst and spoilers.
1. All I'll Ever Be

All I'll Ever Be  
  
By QG  
  
I...a mortal? No, it wasn't possible! There was no way it could be possible! That old wretch was trying to trick me; it was just another one of his lies. How could he do this to me?! How could he have made me mortal?! I was supposed to be his beautiful Angel of Death, above all of those ordinary, pathetic Genomes. I was so much more powerful and beautiful than they, created for such a higher purpose. I had a soul, a life, a destiny to fulfill.   
  
Defect. That hateful word slid off his vile tongue, cutting into me. He wanted to hurt me. And it did hurt. It sliced into me like a thousand knives, raising boiling anger and suppressed pain. I was not a defect...I wasn't!! I was above them, a glorious, black Angel of Death, ready to spread my reign of destruction and chaos upon Gaia. I was no defect. Do you hear me Garland?! They are the defects! I am the only perfect one, the midnight Angel of Death! I will spread my ebony wings and leave only corpses and darkness in my wake! There will be no one to defeat me!  
  
I will never leave my mark on the world. Zidane will kill me. I will never rise as the Angel of Death. I will die slowly and painfully, without anyone to see or care about me.   
  
Stop it! Shut up, you miserable creature! I'll show you, you and your precious Zidane! He will never surpass me! I will kill him and rise as the Angel of Death. He will never be able to kill me; you won't either. I will prove it to you. I am the most powerful being and it is impossible to kill me. I have reached the trance stage; I am unstoppable.  
  
I will be killed. Zidane is stronger than me. I am just a defect. My only purpose on this world is to be surpassed by Zidane. I am not worthy of living.  
  
Stop it!! I am the Angel of Death! All of Gaia will be at my mercy!  
  
  
  
Defect. That's all I'll ever be.  
  
Shut up!!! I-I'm not...Why do I have tears in my eyes?  
  
They're tears of shame, of anger at my demise. They're tears of fear; I'm afraid to die, afraid to admit to the truth. I will be killed by Zidane and never leave my mark on the world.  
  
STOP IT!!!!!! No one will surpass me! I will leave my mark of devastation upon this world, and no one will be able to stop me! I am not a mere mortal, created just so I could be surpassed. I am the Angel of Death, and no one will take that away from me. I will not let this world exist without me. And I know how I can escape the destiny set for me. I know what I need to do. I simply have to destroy it all. Destroy Garland, destroy Zidane, destroy the Terra. I am no defect, created just so I could die without ever leaving my mark on this world. I will leave destruction as my mark. I am Kuja, the Angel of Death. 


	2. I Deserve

I Deserve...  
  
By QG  
  
He was disgusting. Dirty blond hair, chopped unevenly, watery blue eyes, and a long, golden tail completed his homely appearance. He was so vile, so dirty and grimy. He didn't even look worthy of touching me, much less being in my presence. I sneered. This was the creature who Garland had created to surpass me? This ugly, filthy wretch? I could almost laugh at the idea. I was beautiful, with pale skin, long silver hair, and a feminine, perfect body. At such a young age, I had already possessed so much power that it was overwhelming. This...Zidane was the thing that was to kill me? It wasn't even a possibility.  
  
It had come to this. Garland was dead, and Zidane's little party was threatening to overtake me. I had to take drastic measures. I had to prove to them that I was stronger, that I held the power. I was the Angel of Death. I was Kuja. There was no question, no thought towards resistance against me. I was the original, the dark angel chosen to carry out the destruction of the world.  
  
Now that I had achieved my trance state, I was unstoppable. Whatever little hope they had to destroying me had long faded. I rose into the air, surveying my surroundings. The Terra. My home for my entire life. This was where I had been created, as well as all the other, less worthy, Genomes. This was where he had been created. Garland had made us all here, as tools for carrying out his plans. I was sick of being used as a tool. I was going to destroy this world so no one would have the pain of being used inflicted on them ever again. No one would be created. And if no one else were created, I would never be surpassed. I would be free to become the Angel of Death, to rule with destruction in my wake. If the Terra were gone, I could be free.  
  
I would begin with the Terra then. I gathered my power; I felt it coursing through my veins, rushing through me like fire until I released it upon the world. This! This was what I always wished to achieve! Wielding supreme power over all things! I would start my reign of darkness and destruction by destroying the place that gave me life. None would be able to overpower me.  
  
What do you think of me now, Garland? Your beautiful Angel of Death is doing what you always wished. He is killing, causing destruction. You wanted that, didn't you? Did you think I would obey your wishes? Did you think I would let you live, let Zidane live and surpass me? Will I simply willingly let him kill me and take my place? No, I am not as stupid as you thought me to be. Your precious Zidane will be killed, just as you were.  
  
You told me I was a mortal. Ha! Could a mortal be capable of this? Would it be possible for me to achieve what I have if I were mortal? It was a lie, to try to bring down my guard. I am not a mortal. I shall destroy everything with my heightened abilities, with my power. No one shall be able to stop me, to kill me. Not Zidane, not anyone. It will all be destroyed before it even has a chance.  
  
I will prove that I deserve life. 


End file.
